Such an odd and beautiful thing happened when I was driving home from Bible study the other night. The amazing part was it happened the week before as well. A brilliant lighting storm lit up the sky from east to west. And yet I didn't hear any thunder. And to top it off, the sky to the south was clear and the crescent moon hung like the Cheshire cat's smile in the sky.
I couldn't believe it happened the first time. And when it happened again, with the moon and everything, I just watched it all in awe.
I know God can and has done things much more amazing than a lightning show with his power, but seeing that was a good reminder to me. He is able to do so much more than I can ask or imagine.
The last few weeks have been hard for me. I miss my friends, I miss school. I didn't get the job I wanted for the summer and I am not sure how I will be able to afford school in the fall. My parents have not been very understanding about the whole thing and think it is somehow my fault. I have felt very useless just sitting at home and babysitting once a week. School was so full of action. But now my life is quiet. And the quiet is suffocating me.
But God is trying to teach me something in this time of stillness. Why do I, again and again, doubt because of where I happen to be at in life? Why do I stress and think I need to have it all together by myself? Since when has anything I have done been on my own?
All I can do is what I have been doing my whole life: rest in the arms of the one who holds the future.
Why do I try to break away and do things on my own? Why do I try my best when I know my best will never be enough?
Why do I keep fighting battles when God had already won the war?
I need to just rest and be and lay the rest down at the feet of God. I do not exist for me but to share the Grace and Love of God. And breathe. That is it.
My new normal is teaching me that I need to stop doing and start being. And that sometimes I find God more deeply in the dry times than in the storms.
-Rachael
